Monday, March 23, 2015

Making A Liar Out Of Myself

You guys know I'm all talk and little action at this point, right?

Remember how I so boldly announced back in December that I missed blogging and that I was making a comeback?  That I was going to revisit this page and regularly update all of you patient people who are still visiting this dusty little corner of the internet?  You are all so sweet to hold on to the chance that I might actually make good on that promise so first let me say thank you for believing in me.  And secondly, you're all fools for thinking I was actually going to follow through.

But here I am three months later, with very little to say sadly.  I'm trying to make sense as to why blogging is so much harder than it used to be.  Is it lack of motivation?  The absence of free time?  A depletion of "blog worthy" moments in our lives?  An attempt to protect the privacy of our daughters now that they're old enough to read and comprehend all that I put online for the world to see?  An ongoing Netflix addiction from one full series to the next?  It's probably a combination of all the above plus some.  Almost eight years of doing anything can lead to burnout, and although in many ways we have more free time now that we did when the girls were little, I'll admit that having The General at home with us at night (as opposed to his work schedule when I first started blogging) definitely cut into my prime blogging time.  The girls staying up later at night is also a major culprit.    I have a hard time getting into the flow with the Full House theme song blaring in the background.  Man, do I miss those 7:30 pm bedtimes!  There are certainly still ridiculous things done and said in our home, but maybe the frequency is less and those moments are a slightly less hilarious and a lot more eye roll worthy now that the girls are older.  As for Netflix, while I won't apologize for any of it, clearly our binge watching of Sons of Anarchy, Dexter, New Girl, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, and all the other network television series currently waiting on our DVR does not help the creative writing process.

I think the biggest issue for me has been a subtle attempt to protect the girls now that they are older.  What was funny once is still funny today, but their responses to hearing that it has been shared with a wide (humor me) audience come with some mixed reactions.  I've thrown around the idea of making this space private for this very reason.  I have used - and loved - this blog as a journal for their lives, and I don't want to lose that outlet.  I want to remember the details of conversations I have with the girls to relive with them years from now (see:  THE Talk, a story which will remain private for now but trust me had its very hilarious and cringe worthy moments that blog readers would revel in), and for me this is one of the greatest spaces for doing just that.  On top of this privacy issue, the retellings of some of these events are so much more complicated than they used to be.  A conversation with a three year old is a much different experience than a conversation with a ten year old and sometimes it just doesn't translate as well.  Facebook is probably a little bit to blame too.  Little snippets or cute pictures that I would have run to this space to share now get thrown up in seconds via my Facebook Machine (or iPhone, depending on whether or not you're asking The General) to one of a variety of my social media outlets.

Anyway, I'm realizing now that this post really has no purpose other than to alert you that I am indeed still alive, that I am harboring a significant amount of guilt for not making good on my promise, and that I still have all the best intentions to use this space as a diary of my life - past, present and future.  I tried this before and if I didn't have the last two episodes of Dexter to watch tonight I might make the effort to search for it, but let's just start fresh here.  Give me a theme. Pose a question.  Provide me with a jumping off point.  What should I write about?  What should I share?  Where should I take you with my words?  This rusty blogger needs some inspiration!

3 comments:

Munchkin said...

Don't feel bad. I sad I'd come back multiple times too. Again, blog worthy stuff happens to me... a lot.... I just can't get it done!

Page Turner said...

I still read books all the time. Never take the time to blog about them. I sill journal my books. Just do not blog.

The Bride said...

I still check the blogs at least every other day. Dreaming..... Hoping....

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