Monday, June 4, 2012

Praying This Is Not An Obstacle In This Year's Warrior Dash

Tonight the girls were in the backyard using their swing set as a makeshift parallel bar. As The General and I were standing nearby discussing the state of said swing set, Punkin asked if the move she was attempting was called a chin-up. It was not, which led The General to dive into a brief run-down on what constitutes a chin-up and how to execute one properly. He even gave his girls an onsite demonstration for the visual learners in the group.

I will be the first to admit that I have no upper body strength. And I mean none. Push-ups are the devil's work. Bench pressing and especially the incline caused me extreme anxiety during my semester of A.P.E. as I tried desperately to look cool at all times to my buff high school boyfriend. Even in junior high when kids have freak-like strength I could not pull off a pull up. So, what made me think tonight would be any different?

As I was dangling from the bar of our children's swing set, giggling slightly, I admitted to The General that I couldn't do a pull up. He said something like, "Come on, you sissy, just do it". To this encouragement I replied, "I don't even know what to do with my body to do a pull up". Again with the cheerleader like attitude he gave me this sage piece of wisdom: "Just pull your body up"; I announced to him, still dangling, that was what I was trying to do right at that moment and my body wasn't budging.

His response, said in what can only be described as a trifecta of sadness, pity, and an I'm-really-embarrassed-for-you tone of voice was simply, "Wow".

Never fear though. Punkin had my back. She quickly, with a slight shrug of her shoulders, looked over at her father and reminded him, "Well, she's had two kids".

I can only imagine that she was able to use that well timed excuse so brilliantly because I rely on it far too often on far too many occasions. Clothes don't fit right? I've had two kids. It's hard for me to get up off the floor without assistance? I've had two kids. Drinking by myself on a Tuesday afternoon? I've had two kids. If you think I'm embarrassed by this or that it might make me second guess continuing its use? Pft, you obviously don't know me very well.


Munchkin said...

Does the General know about your really buff high school boyfriend?

The Page Turner said...

Munchkin cracking me up.
I think Punkin was saying it like a challenge, "She's had two kids." What have you done General. Have you grown a human being in your body? No! Have you grown brains for two children that are doing remarkable in school? No.
Chin up? Who cares!

Parker said...

Ha! Love Munchkin's comment!! And Mrs., kudos to you for even attempting it with an audience!

I was right there with you in junior high...praying that Mr. Lane wouldn't even make me try!

Cath said...

LOL @ Munchkin.
I took the girls to the playground at the grade school a couple weeks ago. I attempted to do the monkey bars and it was literally a complete joke. No.Strength.What.So.Ever.
This was all while these two girls were starring at me flying through each bar like it was the easiest thing in the world. All I could think about was 'YOU JUST WAIT! It happens to all of us!'...right?
Whatev, but as I was doing those monkey bars I was thinking 'no flippin way can I do warrior dash. No upper body strength, no chance.' So you're saying you CAN survive through that w/out it??

Tru Stories said...

I also can not do a pull-up. In Jr High to gym teacher would give me a 1/2 when we got graded on it.

Next, I love Munchkin.

Last, did The General do any pull-ups last night?? Just wondering how our training is moving along....

The Other Parker said... just gave me a reason to have kids! Love it!

Anonymous said...

By now shouldn't you be tall enough to walk from monkey bar to monkey bar and not have to swing. I'm sure the monkey bars in our playground were tall enough for kids to swing along, but adults could just walk along under them.
Also loving Munchkin's comment...she's very "quick on the uptake" as our former English teacher used to say as a compliment!!


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