Friday, March 2, 2012

Never Felt Classier

Scene: The Dollar General, somewhere between the laundry detergent and pet food

The Mrs.: (walking swiftly between aisles, scanning furiously for plain glass containers and/or loose craft beads while half listening to her daughters trailing behind)

Shortcake: (retelling stories of the day's events) Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Punkin: (competing with her sister at a louder volume while retelling stories of her own day's events) Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

The Mrs.: Mmmhmm. Oh, yeah? Hmm, that's interesting.

Punkin: Mom. Hey, mom! Mom, guess what? The nuhse came into ouw woom today to check everyone's hay-uh!

The Mrs.: (slight pause, then browsing continues) Really? Everyone got checked today?

Punkin: Yep!

Shortcake: Why did she do that? I bet it was for head lice.

Punkin: (realizes I'm more than two feet away, increases voice volume by at least 25 dB to compensate) Yeah, I think so. And mom. Hey, mom. Guess what? Guess who had the head lice? It was ME!

*imagine record scratching sound here*

The Mrs.: (looks around frantically for nearby patrons who may have overheard this bold announcement) No you do not. You do not have head lice. Do not even say that.

Punkin: Yeah, I know. I was just being funny.

*end scene*

(She's like a chameleon, able to transform herself to match whatever her surroundings may be.)


Anonymous said...

That girl knows how to get your attention! I have to admit I was reading fast to find out! Gramma P

Tru Stories said...

For a moment, I felt a sense of loss, knowing I wouldn't be able to let my children be around Punkin for at least 3-4 months.
And... I itched my head while reading this.

The Page Turner said...

Kids are so funny! Promise you will still blog when the girls are in high school.


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