I'm not as quick with the one-liners as The Doctor nor am I as witty with the Top Ten Lists as The MC, but I'm going to try it anyway. Without further adieu, I give you the "Top Ten Things I Learned On Graduation Weekend".
- Wearing black running/yoga pants and a zip up Nike jacket will earn you the nickname "Patty". As in Blagjoveich, Illinois' former first lady. Because apparently, according to The General, I looked like I was suited up for a morning run with our state's former Governor. I failed to find the humor in that comparison.
- Mr. and Mrs. MC do not get out of the house nearly as much as they should and, when they do, are giddy with freedom. Evidence: child like outbursts of giggles from both by Mr. MC's use of the phrases "fo shizzle" and "McMinute".
- The only thing more embarrassing than being seen with Munchkin dressed as Olivia Newton John: Munchkin dressed in a halter dress/baggy sweat pants/North Face Jacket combo. Slightly less embarrassing and certainly more amusing: halter dress and funky graduation cap sans gown.
- If you had replaced Munchkin's Equinox with a Mini Cooper, you would have had a difficult time telling the difference between our mad dash from campus to the hotel and back from a scene out of The Italian Job. My uncanny resemblance to Charlize Theron certainly blurs the lines even further (not). Also of interest: Munchkin's Equinox, when floored, sounds like a swarm of angry bees. Her analogy, not mine.
- Although she was not singled out for academic achievement, Munchkin could have been awarded a medal of distinction for Shortest PharmD Candidate in the Class of 2010. She wears her blog moniker well, let's just say that.
- The General has the capability of sending dozens of people into cardiac arrest. Just ask him to spontaneously scream in an otherwise quiet gymnasium in the middle of a college graduation.
- The White Tornado can entertain himself for hours with nothing more than a camera and unsuspecting subjects. I'm happy to report no one pressed charges following completely innocent butt shots taken at a favorite campus hangout.
- Relish may be traumatized for life after finding herself sandwiched between two aunts in a booth at a college bar thereby being subjected to valuable life lessons on how to survive high school. I put most of the blame for long term emotional damage on Mr. MC and his irresponsible outburst on what is "really gross" as well as The General's dropping of the f-bomb. (side note: a show of hands for how many are surprised it took this long in his role as uncle to accidentally let that word slip in the presence of one of his nieces or nephews, please . . .)
- Downtown Des Moines has the most beautiful sidewalk planters on Earth. Yellow snapdragons, unbelievable purple and blue hydrangea, cabbage leaf like filler, and hanging baskets of gorgeous purple petunias - I want them all in my yard right quick.
- Walking into a college bar is an instant slap in the face reminding you no matter how delusional your thinking, you are not in any way, shape, or form, the same person you were during your college years. Secondary slap in the face reminding you that you're quickly sliding down the slope toward geriatrics: the fact that you can't stop thinking about street side flower arrangements.
Congratulations, again, to Dr. Munchkin, PharmD. Thanks for graduating so that the family would have an excuse for yet another weekend of great memories.