Monday, January 11, 2010

The Return of Totally Unsolicited Movie Review

My take home prize in the Poke family gift card grab bag exchange this year was a three month subscription to Netflix. I was the one who brought it and although it was a toss up between my own submission and the tempting Bob Evans gift card submitted by my dad (insert sarcastic tone here), I was very excited to bring the promise of three months of movie watching excitement back home with me. Seeing as how I'm now totally hooked on filling my queue with new releases, movies I've been meaning to watch for years, and some timeless classics I have yet to view, I thought it seemed fitting to bring back one of the earliest features to this here blog: the unsolicited movie review. I haven't done a review in years (literally), but there should be no shortage of reviews coming at you in the next couple of months. Let me catch you up to date on what I've seen in the last couple of weeks.

Totally Unsolicited Movie Review: Sex and the City: The Movie

Year Released: 2008
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Cast: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon

The General's commentary: Is that TV loud enough for you? (Apparently my movie watching was interfering with his computer time. I blame the old TV.)

The Mrs.' reaction: Total chick flick. The movie's plot was about what I expected although I was NOT expecting quite so much full frontal from both genders. Apparently the syndicated version on WGN left me ill-prepared for what a R rated movie is allowed to show. Yikes.

Totally Unsolicited Movie Review: The Hangover

Year Released: 2009
Genre: Comedy
Cast: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha

The General's commentary: Unfortunately, due to conflicting schedules, The General and I were not able to watch this movie together. Therefore, I don't have a direct quote commentary upon completion of his viewing of this film. What I can tell you, though, is that he LOVED the part where Alan (Galifianakis) tries to talk down Mr. Chow in an attempt to avoid a beatdown. "I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! He destroys cities!" might have been his favorite line of the whole movie. I believe he also enjoyed Mike Tyson singing "In the Air Tonight" but that might be because that featured part of that particular song is arguably one of the most bitchin' sections of a song ever composed.

The Mrs.' Commentary: While I can say this is one of the funniest movies I've seen in awhile, it was still a slight disappointment for me. I think the buildup from others who had seen it previously ruined it for me. Still, I laughed out loud (LOLed, if you prefer) during several scenes. Zack Galifianakis was the star of this movie without a doubt from start to finish and there is no shortage of one liners provided by this film. My personal favorite part of the movie was watching Alan stumble backwards in a day-after-drinking stupor because really. Who hasn't a moment like that at least once in their life? Also, I hate, HATE when people use the "R" word to describe someone or something, but I will admit that my new go-to phrase to throw around (only in the company of The General) is ruh-tard. This is definitely one of those movies that would probably be even funnier the second or third time you watch it. It's certainly not short on crude language or sophomoric humor so you might want to steer clear if that's not your forte.

Totally Unsolicited Movie Review: The Business of Being Born

Year Released: 2007
Genre: Documentary
Cast: Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein, as well as a cast of mothers, doctors, midwives, and experts on childbirth in our country and the world

The General's Commentary: Come on, now. Do you honestly think he'd sit down to watch this film? I watched it via instant viewing from our computer one night while he was still at work.

The Mrs.' Commentary: First, I am very glad I chose to watch this film after I had my own children especially considering the fact that I had two c-sections. Secondly, I found it interesting to watch the birth experiences of others who chose a very different way of delivering their child, one in which I didn't even entertain the thought of when I was expecting. What I walked away with after viewing this film is this bottom line: it truly does not matter how a child enters this world - be it a home birth, c-section, "traditional" delivery, one endured without pain medication or one in which epidurals were free flowing, a birth where the mother is laboring in a room filled with family and friends or one in which the mother and father quietly bring their child into this world together. The birth of every child in any way is honestly the most miraculous event any person will ever witness.

(Beauty aside for one second though, it still skeeved me out a bit to see some of the uncensored footage shown during this film. Childbirth is miraculous and beautiful but hello, it's still pretty, um, messy if you catch my drift.)

Totally Unsolicited Movie Review: Taken

Year Released: 2008
Genre: Action, Crime, Drama, Thriller
Cast: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace

The Mrs.' Commentary: "Well, that just convinced me never to allow either of the girls to travel to Paris unsupervised."

The General's Commentary: "I don't think we have to worry about that anyway since our girls aren't a couple of spoiled, rich bitches. Plus, it was all the mom's fault anyway (sidewards glance toward me, awaiting a swift punch to the arm)."

Bonus commentary: Early on in the movie I posed the question, "Does she (the daughter) ever enter or exit a scene without running?" which then led The General to provide a very amusing (albeit not very accurate) imitation anytime she appeared on screen, making me laugh every time.

Provide your own reviews or leave me some suggestions for movies to fill my queue. I open to any and all recommendations!


Munchkin said...

I'm picturing the General's impression of that girl running in my head and it's making me laugh every time too.

The Bride said...

I just LOLed (laughed out loud, if you prefer)

Swanny said...

Classic General.

Tina said...

Love, love, love The Hangover. We use "ruh-tard" quite frequently at our house, too.


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