Shortcake received her first birthday party invitation this week. She will not be attending this party for a variety of reasons (Gramma Poke, chalk this experience up to another "now I get it" moments), and when I backpedaled and stumbled over my words explaining that she couldn't go, Shortcake's face instantly morphed into the most tortured expression I've ever witnessed and declared with a quaky voice, "But mom! He's my best friend!". Let me assure you, this child is most definitely not Shortcake's best friend. Mr. & Mrs. MC - any chance Tank would want to postpone his party for one week giving me the opportunity to provide Shortcake with a valid reason for bailing on the classmate's party?
Saturday night, while carefully balancing a tray of shakes in one hand, The General tried with much effort (and accompanying dramatic sound effects) to buckle Shortcake into her car seat with his free hand. Normally his theatrics would be met with giggles from his oldest daughter, but on this night she instead commented in a very flat, totally unamused tone, "Dad, you're embarrassing". He took it like a man, but I think that one stung a little bit.
On the way to school yesterday, Shortcake was telling me all about two boys at school who were using bad words. She told me her classmates ratted the boys out. When I asked for their names she once again willingly gave them up without hesitation but then followed with this little gem (names changed to protect the not-so-innocent): "Well, I told the teacher that Austin said bad words but not Shawn because Shawn it cute". I laughed and she quickly clarified, "What? Everybody thinks Shawn is cute". The General was even more distressed by this little revelation than he was at being called embarrassing.
As we walked along the hospital sidewalk on our way to visit GG last weekend, Shortcake reminded us, "Don't step on the cracks!". She couldn't explain the reason why we should avoid the cracks and gave The General a strange look when he asked if stepping on the crack would break her mother's back, but if that doesn't solidify her place as an elementary school student I don't know what does.
Tonight I asked her how her day was, and she replied with "Asi, asi" without batting an eyelash. That's "so, so" in Spanish for all you monolingual readers out there.