Monday, November 23, 2009

Scavenger Hunts Are Officially My New Favorite Pasttime

Saturday night was the last girls night out for Cari as a single woman. On the agenda were pedicures, dinner, games, and a good old fashion slumber party complete with snacks & a movie. Cari's younger sister and their brother's girlfriend were our hostesses for the night, and believe me when I tell you that they had all the bases covered (including raunchy party favors). It was outstanding!

To kick off the festivities, Maria had planned a two team scavenger hunt to take place at Eastland Mall. The list was filled with tasks related to the upcoming wedding, marriage, my brother, and a few miscellaneous bachelorette themed tasks. Looking back on the evening, the underlying theme was really all about corruption.

Exhibt A: Corruption of a 12 year old. Cari's niece (and junior bridesmaid) was with us for the evening, and we learned very quickly that having her on our team was a great advantage. One, she's small enough to try on any size clothing very quickly. And two, she's young enough that we can convince her to do those tasks which we as adults are too embarrassed to do. Miss Destiny did draw the line at eating a dog biscuit.

Exhibit B: Corruption of Privacy. In this case, taking self-portraits inside the men's room, interrupting a innocent bystander's meal to hand them a napkin, and drive by photography of a mini-mullet by a man minding his own business while working at a mall kiosk.

Also on this list included stopping random married couples during their shopping to ask for marital advice for the new Mr. and Mrs., begging for dollars to be deposited in the wedding fund, and jonesing for business cards of single men.

Exhibit C: Corruption of the sanctity of marriage. Getting the phone numbers of five men, kissing a guy named Erik, proposing to someone, kiss a bald man's there no respect for the vows of matrimony any more?!?!?

Exhibit D:
Corruption of our pride. Two words: chicken dance.

Exhibit E:
Corruption of the law. Within five minutes of entering the mall, our team was approached by mall security who gave us this (mostly) exact speech: "Bachelorette party. Scavengers hunts are not allowed unless it's been cleared with the mall office". After our initial response of "Are you serious or did the other team tell you to tell us that" we realized that homeboy was for reals. Not wanting to waste a moment we asked him if he'd at least take a picture with us (thus eliminating one more task on our to-do list). He refused saying something about him getting fired if the picture ended up on the Internet. As if.

This is the perfect place to note that my mother, who was on the opposing team, reportedly spent the majority of the hour long scavenger hunt fearing that she would end up incarcerated following a beatdown by mall security for violation of the "No Scavenger Hunt" policy. She went so far as to warn others on her team that she suspected one man as being "undercover" because clearly the employees at Eastland Mall have nothing better to do during the holiday season than run down ten women wearing "Last Fling Before the Ring" buttons. Also ironic: this fear of the law comes from the same woman who had no problem stealing lilacs from the local Baptist church. I guess we all prioritize our morals and ethics in different ways, and apparently for the mother of the groom the wrath of God holds no candle to the almighty power of mall security.

Thanks again to Cassi & Maria for the awesome night - I can't wait to see the grand unveiling of Poke & Cari: The Musical at the reception Saturday night!


Anonymous said...

Sounds like an AWESOME time...Maybe your Mom could get a part in the movie "Mall Cop: The Sequel" Ha !
Happy Thanksgiving !
Will be looking forward to wedding photos !

Anonymous said...

I had so much fun...Thanks girls for planning such a fun party for Cari. Oh, and I will be at the wedding, mall security let me go!
Mom of the groom.

Just a note on the Lilac's...the night I took them from the church, Linda O was with, we were walking the dogs,Tator Tot got his leash wrapped around my feet and I fell.

Moral of the story, When you DO the CRIME you DO THE TIME!


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