Can I add one additional item to my list of things I will not miss when the girls' childhoods have passed?
Vomit. I will most definitely not miss vomit.
A little more than an hour ago I received yet another call from the wonderful secretary at Shortcake's school informing me that she was once again hanging out in the nurse's office. No, no fever this time around, just a little projectile vomiting during lunch to spice things up on a Friday afternoon.
Upon arrival at her school, I saw Shortcake dressed her in PE shirt and the ominous sight of the Wal-Mart bag containing her soiled shirt caught my immediate attention (after hugging and kissing my poor daughter of course). We came home where she was immediately snuggled by her daddy followed shortly by a thorough brushing of teeth. We set her up in bed with puke bucket at the ready and then I undertook the dreaded task of cleaning the shirt, stained only at the edges of the sleeves but still enough to induce a strong gag response and send me running to the bathroom just in case. Mom, I am willing to move to the Old El Paso if you promise to handle all puke related events. Give me sleepless nights, explosive poopy diapers, a little baby spit-up, tantrums, teething - I can handle it. Dealing with the aftermath of full fledged emptying of stomach contents? That is one area of motherhood that I am just not cut out for.
Following that horrid experience, I instantly began reorganizing my entire mental itinerary for the next 72 hours. Bridesmaid dress pickup appointment was canceled, pros and cons regarding whether or not I should still attend Cari's much anticipated bachelorette party tomorrow night were weighed, an entire Friday evening's planned events were rearranged. My head of spinning in four hundred different directions.
Only moments after I had canceled the appointment to pick up my dress for next weekend's wedding, The General and I realized that Shortcake was looking rather chipper for having lost her lunch only an hour before. It was then that a line of questioning by The General revealed the following pertinent information: Shortcake had seen something gross after eating her pizza lunch (specifically the garbage, probably after she emptied her tray now that I think about it) and gagged hard enough that she puked. The General's diagnosis following this conversation: She's fine. Dress pickup appointment back on.
Oh, the joys of being a mom.