Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Fighting The Urge To Scream And/Or Weep At Every Turn

Messes and I do not get along. I like my house to be relatively organized, tidy, clean. Everything has its place, and I get cranky when things are not where they belong. Dust is my arch nemesis.

I think the following pictures will explain why I feel as though I'm living in my own personal hell. Behold the current state of my kitchen, dining room, and foyer.

As a result of the reason for the rooms looking like this, I also have my pantry cupboards, dishes, and kitchen table on the screened-in back porch, my dining room furniture in The General's garage, groceries scattered on kitchen counters tops and in laundry baskets in the living room, and a wine rack in our bedroom. There is even a broken dishwasher in our shed. This is about a third of our living space, and it's in complete shambles and disarray. Preparing dinner last night was a feat in and of itself, and our meal on a cardboard table in the middle of our living room was as far from fine dining as you can get.

Although I've discovered that I'm a floor removal rockstar, a vinyl tile destroying ninja if you will, my primary role in this home (de)construction is to keep the girls away from and out of the house as much as possible during the day light hours giving The General uninterrupted time to work his ever loving butt off. Yesterday he was in such a zone that I came home to find a nail sticking out of the ceiling and him drenched in sweat and smelling less than fresh. Punkin reminded him several times that perhaps a shower might be a good idea. Good bless him, though. Almost one week into his summer vacation and all he's done is work on our house.

While the relative mess around our house is causing me nightmares, let me take this moment to talk about The General's personal hell thus far in our home renovation process. Yesterday, The General devoted most of his day to removing the two top layers of plywood covering the base plywood in the kitchen in order to create an even surface between the three rooms when it's time to put down our new floors. There was a space on the floor where the refrigerator sits that caused him to nearly pack it all in. He asked me to take this question to the Internet:

Suppose you have a section of plywood measuring approximately three feet by four feet.

The plywood is half an inch thick.

You have two and a half inche long nails to secure the board to the floor.

First question: If you were nailing down this section of plywood, approximately how many nails would you use?

Secondly, take a guess as to how many railroad spikes nails The General pulled from this one piece of wood. And just for fun, how long do you think it took him to remove the board from the base layer of plywood?

Know what the best part is? We're having a large group of people over for a cookout on Sunday. Hooray for poor timing! I just ask all of you reading this who plan to attend to disregard all messes still visible. We'll invite you over again when our home has some semblance of order.

Despite this particular rough patch, things have gone relatively smoothly. However, I'm typing this post after returning from a day at the pool and The General is nowhere to be found. There's not even so much as a note detailing his whereabouts. I'm slightly fearful he's finally had enough and has run off with the carnival that's in town this week.


Tina said...

Check the nearest pub. I'm sure he's there - after all that work and frustration, he needs a stiff drink!

Just keep thinking about how wonderful it will be when it's all done. The dining room is really coming along!

Anonymous said...

Looks exciting....I'm remembering how much I HATE wallpaper. Luckily the kitchen doesn't really have that much.
Tina's right, it will be TOTALLY worth it, in a couple of weeks!! =)
Look at the bright side, you have air conditioning!

Mitch said...

I'll guess 40 nails, and 40 minutes to remove the plywood.

Munchkin said...

i'm going to guess 61 nails and multiple hours

Parker said...

Here's my guess...

Nails: Too many
Time: Too long
Beers: Not enough

Have they started sanding the mudd on the drywall? Mrs., it will drive you NUTS!! Hope your Dyson is not out on loan!

Jersey Girl said...

That's the attitude, Parker!!!You could definitely be a "Jersey Girl"
(or boy) with that opinion!!
I was laughing out loud at your comments.
Perhaps we should order a ton of vacuum bags for the Mrs. or a huge amount of wine!!

AuntieM said...

Mrs. when you need to get out of the house, you can come and enjoy the pool whenever you is warm (almost too much) and refreshing now, so come on over....bring the General too...there is always some brewskies in the fridge out there!!!! (and PaPoke needs some more grandparenting skills)

the rooms will look so good when you're's worth the mess!!!! just hang in there!!!!


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