Thursday, August 28, 2008

Operation Gettin' Less Jiggly Wit It Is In Full Effect

Since the end of last summer I have been in a steady decline in terms of overall physical fitness. I have not felt anywhere near peak form in at least a decade, and my pregnancies and birth of each of the girls - while a glorious and magical time that I enjoyed every single second of minus the puking in weeks 8-14 - did a real number on my already wavering attitude toward my body image. The General, in the fifteen years we've been together, has spent a good deal of time avoiding the question that puts fear in men all around the world: "Do I look fat?". He has spent those years reassuring me that, no, you do not look fat now shut the hell up already and let's finish off this pint of Ben & Jerry's before it melts. Although I know that The General is no dummy and would never answer this loaded question in the affirmative (RIGHT?!?!?), I've in the last couple of weeks decided it's not about what The General or others might be thinking. Quite frankly I'm just sick and tired of being jiggly. Being out of breath for a full ten minutes after a run from home plate to first base is unacceptable, having your four year old call your stomach "bouncy" is downright embarrassing, and the fact that my double chin now has it's own double chin is simply appalling. I look at pictures of myself and want to cry. I see myself in the mirror and am horrified. This has got to stop before I end up on Maury Povich as the woman they had to lift out of her home with the assitance of a crane and flat bed truck. And let me tell you a little secret. The day I knew this had all spiraled out of control? It was the day I observed my love handles jiggling excessively when I was hitting the whammy bar with gusto while playing Guitar Hero. How many things are wrong with that scenario? And, Lord help, that was way back in February. You'd think a girl would recognize the signs for an intervention STAT, but I can be a terrific procrastinator.

After reading my friend Meghann's recent blog post about goals she has set for herself I decided to join the bandwagon (of two) and set some goals for myself on a quest toward better health and wellness. I am the Queen of Excuses when it comes to sticking to an exercise program. I'm too tired, it's too hot, it's too cold, I'm hungry, I just ate, I'll do it tomorrow, the girls need a bath, I have too much to do, my favorite show is on T.V., I haven't updated the blog in a few days, and on and on and on. Therefore, since I seem capable of coming up with every possible reason not to follow through, I've decided to put it all out there in hopes that broadcasting my attempts (or lack thereof, more importantly) will make me accountable. I don't have the luxury of a personal trainer barking orders and pushing me through reps, so you're all going to have to fill that position for me.

My goals:

1. I am not setting a weight loss goal right now. I don't want to be a slave to the scale because I know this about myself - if I don't lose weight quickly or steadily I will become highly annoyed and discouraged and will quit.

2. I would like to do some kind of physical activity - walking, step, Tae Bo, Core Secrets, etc. - at least three times a week. I think this is a reasonable goal to start with. I don't want to set my expectations too high because, again, if I don't meet my goal I'll just end up saying "Screw it, this is too hard" and throw in the towel all together.

3. I need to subscribe to the "food as fuel" logic. I have observed that I tend to be someone who eats when hungry, or bored, or stressed, or when I think I should eat even though I'm not really hungry. I want to start putting food in my body with the emphasis on how it will sustain me as opposed to "oh, yummy in my tummy!". I've also become a speed eater lately, and I need to slow down and be more conscious about what (and how much) I'm taking in.

4. On the flip side, I'll be damned if I'm going to deprive myself. "Everything in Moderation" will be my new catch phrase. I will stop when I am full no matter how much is left on my plate, and I will step away from the cookies after my first one.

5. Hello, I'm 30. Perhaps it's time to start taking some daily vitamins? I know I need more calcium, and as a chronically anemic child I'm thinking an iron supplement wouldn't hurt both in addition to a multi-vitamin. I'll have to consult my on-staff pharmacist in training on this one.

6. Drink more water. I used to be so good with this, and now I'll get to dinner and realize it's the first glass of water I've had all day. It's not that I'm drinking a ton of pop or anything - maybe one a day at work but other than a glass of OJ in morning I'll just go all day without drinking at all. Hydrate, woman!

7. I am not 17 or 21 or 25 anymore. My body has gone through a lot in the last four years, and never again will it look like it did before then. I need to be okay with that. I need to know that I'm not doing this to look like I did ten years ago. I'm doing this to be as healthy as I can be where I am now.

8. Most importantly for me, I need to expect setbacks and be prepared for weakness. BUT I WILL NOT QUIT! Just get back on track and go on with your bad self.

I need to do this for myself, and I need to do this for my girls. I want to be healthy for them as much as for me. I know that I feel better about myself when I'm active - I sleep better, have more energy, have a better outlook and a clearer mind. I'm going to document this journey on Twitter, and I've put a link to my tweets over on the sidebar under the Google ads. You can keep track of my progress there, and I'm asking you all to be the thorn in my sides and kick in the ass when you see me slacking. Be prepared for some lame excuse if you call me on it, but know that I am grateful for having my back. Just don't be offended when I start calling you names.

And if anyone is feeling inspired and want to join in on the "fun", email me. There's power in numbers. Come on, who's up for the challenge? Maybe we could do a One Carbon Hill Biggest Loser! Doesn't that sound like a great time?!?!?

P.S. If you're coming to the OCH Fantasy Draft on Saturday and you notice me hanging out by the brownies and Queso Dip, I'm warning you right now to just let it go. I need to ease into this new lifestyle, and Saturday night is bound to be one of those days where I get a little off course. You can make fun of me behind my (fat) back so long as I don't hear you. There's a lot of pressure as Commissioner and remember that whole "I eat when I'm stressed" excuses? Yeah, totally applies here.


Julie said...

Garbage Disposal and I are in on the "biggest loser" competition...since the only souvenier i brought back from florida was ten extra pounds

prada and i have been running in the mornings but extra motivation always helps and i'm also taking an exercise physiology class that just makes me feel bad about myself

as far as your goals you definitely need to take a multi-vitamin plus iron...any will do, they're all basically the same...just because it says one-a-day doens't mean it's better than the equate brand and as you calcium level begins to decline faster with age a good supplement to that might be's a chocolate little thing that tastes pretty good but has calcium so that might be a good little sweet fix for you...they come in different flavors and actually taste good

for more consultation about my knowledge of well-being or if you would like any additional advice feel free to email me questions and for anyone who reads this but doesn't actually know me i am the future pharmacist in training and you can get my email address from the mrs.

Anonymous said...

Love the blog - and yes you have the right idea on being healthy and not skinny. Once I decided to just be healthy and not have to be skinny, I didn't HATE working out! I have plenty of slip ups and take time off once in a while.

BUT don't sell yourself short- you are a beautiful woman! Your personality is amazing - and I have seen you light up a room.
Good Luck!
-The Hamburglers wife-

Meghann said...

Welcome to my bandwagon! Here have a Propel fitness water and a weight watchers cookie.

Papa Poke said...

HA! 30? Wait till your 50+. My students want to use me as the "slab of pork" they try to wrestle from each other in the game Steal-the-Bacon. I'm in. But give me a Dew first - let's have a pre-victory celebration!

Julie said...

i think there's going to need to be rules and percentage of pounds or just straight pounds...are we taking BMI into account...should we all get our BP and cholesterol tested

Anonymous said...

I guess if Papa Poke is in....I will be too. I'm drinking a glass of water right now. I have been slowly trying to get off D Coke.
Give yourself a break, I agree with the hamburglers wife, you are beautiful and I think you are being to hard on yourself. But, I guess you don't want to look like your Mom in your later years!

Julie said...

i think a prize should be involved, say we could all contribute? everyone works better for a prize

The Mrs. said...

I'm working on a little project Munchkin - a blog devoted solely to Operation Getting Less Jiggly With It. Looks like we have some eager participants!

And BP and cholesterol checks? Somebody is taking this project VERY seriously!

Mrs. Hamburgler, you are officially my new best friend. Your kind words made my whole day. I think I'll put you in charge of the motivational speech division of the project.

Tina said...

Don't worry if you fall off the happens to the best of us. For example, tonight for dinner I had a corn dog, cheese curds, bacon covered in chocolate, cinnamon-sugar mini-donuts, honey lemonade, and beer. I love the fair!

Tomorrow I'll try to be healty again.....

Tina said...

by the way, I'm in for competition! I need all the motivation I can get!

Anonymous said...

Mrs., I only saw you twice this summer, but sheesh, I still think you look great! But, I need the extra motivation too!! Round 2 of Biggest Loser starts at GCMS HS next week!! Good Luck! --JD

zztopdog said...

That sounds like fun! I could use some motivation.

Swanny said...

I'm ... (wheeze)... in... (gasp). Must... (stitch in side)... change... (takes hit off oygen tank)... habits. (collapses in quivering, overweight heap on the floor)

AuntieM said...

MRS, you are by NO means overweight!!!!! You're just at that "i've had a couple kids and hitting 30 mode" it happens to us all!!! You probably just need a little toning..don'at we all...
My favorite is an ab-lounger. it's a blue chair type deal that you do crunches's very effective when used,.... but i find mine is used more as a clothes hanger!!! good luck, i know you can do anything you put your mind to!!!

The MC said...

I am so in!!!! Of course, you know how my last effort at the Biggest Loser Club turned out. Maybe I'll do better this time. I do love prizes. :)


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